Wake up, it smells like ‘Misery’: Pakistani households and attitudes.

9 Apr

Misery comes in different packages, they are so creatively diverse throughout the world that there is no single recipe with the precise ingredients to tackle with the ruins of this ‘state of mind’. The world consists of misery which is caused by famine, hunger, lack of education and financial strain; even if these situational components don’t exist in certain Pakistani households; misery seems to linger on with a more than vibrant presence. It appears to have been conditioned within people and their environments at times. We as people need to understand that there are certain elements in life which we are in complete control of, whilst there are other things which are beyond our physical or situational authority.

*Sigh* If only someone could explain that to the fretting ladies of the East!

True, our political instability and financially inflated reputation doesn’t make it easy to put on a happy face, but if things at home seem comfortable for the time being why do we insist on wearing the ‘sad clown face’? I suppose it’s because we’re too afraid of appearing content when things are meant to fall apart. When in reality ‘things falling apart’ relates to all those petty yet weighing issues which many of us face in everyday life. Instead of obsessing over strained relations between relatives and cousins, why can’t we just learn to let time take its course? If a divorce or breakup is in the process, why do the rest of the people around have to act miserable and pitiful about it?

This surely doesn’t happen everywhere, but the plague of misery has been known to infect many households. When things aren’t going the way we desire them to be, why does misery have to dictate our moods and attitudes? It could be because we’re conditioned to be miserable when emotional or situational calamities befall us (which does not include natural disasters, crimes and abuse or physical or financial distress). At some point in life it almost becomes an innate instinct to remain miserable.

To make it more clear I’ll elaborate on this a little bit more, if something happens in our lives the healthy and productive thing to do during that period is to process and express it which helps format it into a memory or incident rather than a burden. But in my side of the world we take our obsessions very seriously, I am no exclusion to that! It works something like this, we take a problem and blow it completely out of proportion till it expands into a web of continuous dissection. This means that incessant bickering and dwelling over the ‘potential problem’ persists for days and weeks to come, in turn this gives an unnatural yet existent sense of relief and peace. Has this been carved as a feminine trait in many of our women? Can’t we just let go of things, I’m not here to pass judgements but rather to figure out through my own confusion why we use ‘misery’ as a form of catharsis.

Some issues require our dire attention and emotional venting, but I suppose other issues could be dealt with in a comparatively detached manner where there is no misery involved! Let’s not underestimate our ability to squash negativity around us, we can conquer daily occurrences and learn to rise above them.

6 Responses to “Wake up, it smells like ‘Misery’: Pakistani households and attitudes.”

  1. Sadaf April 10, 2012 at 5:50 pm #

    You have got it so right its not even funny!!! I swear its like a page from the life of every household in the east!

    • heart2woman April 10, 2012 at 5:53 pm #

      Thanks to the conversation we had a few days back.

  2. E.W. April 10, 2012 at 6:34 pm #

    hmmm…interesting…i’ve always WONDERED to myself.. rather asked myself this QUESTION..as to..wether or not the STATE OF BEING IN MISERY is more pre-dominant in house wives, whose sole ambition, chore, duty in life is to take care of the family and realtives, or does this bickering and being miserable over petty issues a trait of all women? including those tht are working?

    it seems to me that wen ppl have alot more to deal with, and alot more IMPORTANT things in life to deal with, they probably tend to deviate their attention and “get over” things quicker? for instance, a woman working 9-5 wouldnt be in the house long enough to get extra involved in family and extended family affairs, hence she wouldnt be bombarded by the opinions of other women..and since she works, and has MORE important things to deal with (because of shortage of time and job) she wouldnt bother staying in this mode of misery? maybe because she doesnt have the CHOICE to do so? maybe because life demands of her alot more? and shes compelled to do more?

    • heart2woman April 10, 2012 at 7:19 pm #

      Thank you for your comment! I love the way you’ve said what you think, yes being preoccupied with something definitely makes a difference. But at times even those women who work from 9-5 have misery surrounding them before they get to bed, except they have little time to dwell on it.

  3. E.W. April 10, 2012 at 6:36 pm #

    i think this constant state of misery, and bickering about others n their own petty issues, is more of a habit…out of nothing better to do? lol..or maybe im just being a hater! lol!

    • heart2woman April 10, 2012 at 7:19 pm #

      Hehehe, I suppose we all have our opinions 🙂

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