Tag Archives: emotional

Sing with me in the storm: Poetry session

15 Jun

 

 

 

 

 

Promises weren’t made, they were created at the coffee table,

Hopes don’t rise, they are given birth.

 

I go back home after dance class and lie in bed,

In my dreams I twirl cause nothing needs to be said.

 

I wake up two months later and contacts have been deleted,

Emotions that once existed have depleted.

 

 

Women and Asexuality in Pakistan!

16 Apr

Several women all across the globe have experienced the peaceful trance of asexuality, some of us take homosexual turns before reaching that point whilst others embrace the lack of heterosexual interference in their lives for a good span of time. All the physical energy and mental effort required in pleasing a man gets overwhelming even in the ‘holding hands’ relationships, where there is no chance of a sexual encounter until the knot is tied. This form of asexuality merely carries the characteristics of an amoeba, but rather it’s a sense of being one is enlightened towards after a bumpy romantic speed break.

There comes a time when you’re so tired of men that you just let go, in the process you discover yourself in ways you had never imagined before and learn to trust the world again. Whether it’s a failing relationship, a recent break up or divorce, all women owe themselves due respect and self-centered love where they stand as the epicentre whilst situations, people and emotions revolve around them for a short period of time.

Men will be men, whether it’s any corner of the world.

Generalization? Yes.

Similarly men in this part of the world are exactly the same which should push women to be even more determined to enjoy their ‘phases pf asexuality’. Many of us carry the weight of broken promises, lies, slander and cheating in our backpack of memories, after such heartache we grow distant, indifferent and wait for it…asexual! There is no shame in it, as far as I have known it’s a temporary state of mind which manages to diminish the urge of sexual attraction or togetherness with a man.

To all those romantics out there who might be sighing at my hopeless and rather pessimistic sense of writing: Reminder: every woman was once a romantic until a man named ‘reality’ knocked really hard on the door. Once that door breaks down, some women gather the courage to put it back in its hinges, others like throwing the fucking door out for good. When there’s no metaphorical door to enter through, you’re left standing at its hinges and staring down the hallway to make sure that ‘reality’ never strikes again. Just make sure you don’t stand there too long cause it might scare off any potentially genuine people from coming in and helping you out of the emotional havoc.

As long as we choose to be asexual until emotional and mental recovery, it’s healthy and a form of catharsis, but holding onto the intentional notion of being alone to protect ourselves from any future ‘heartache’ is unwise. Life doesn’t alway pave a cemented and flawless path to contentment, sometimes we need to jump over rocks, walk over gravel and float through quick sand. The literal point being that sometimes we experience pain and misery in life, but those moments don’t define the rest of our lives, something better is always out there. Until then, enjoy the perks of asexuality! ūüėČ

Ladies, it’s time to lather up in the foams of desire for the worldly things, friends and NOT men. Clad up in your fancy dresses without the purpose of impressing ‘him’, and excite everyone but yourself. Don’t hesitate in rolling your eyes to the sickening advertisements of bridal showers and pathetic swooning of newly wed couples. Invite that beautiful tub of ice cream into your room at late nights of the hour for unholy bondage, slurp sweet chunks of ice till you feel you might pass out to the incredibly action packed movie on television. Embrace your asexual self, but don’t let it rub off on others, let it be a unique trait.

Men who break hearts: Whether it’s Karachi, Lahore or Islamabad.

10 Apr

 

Cities. So many cities to leap through in Pakistan, so many hearts to break, yet so little time!

Hold your horses boys, cause the girls know about your dreadful hobby of hopping from one city to another and pulling their fragile hearts apart! This article in no way leans towards partiality towards cities, rather it will highlight the repulsive migration of men from one place to another where they find a feminine aura to meddle with and disrupt. Each city lingers with the scent of a woman for them, it reminds them of their conquered territory where they prepared their flirtatious ammunition in anticipation for the ‘next lady’ on their hit list in another land far from there. Yes, my precious readers there are men in this world who move from city to city enjoying the company of a ‘attached and expectant’ girl in each city, some of these girls don’t realize their heart¬†are in jeopardy until the ‘migrant’ flees away!

How does this intricate system work? *Sigh*

A man’s sexual and emotional urge to be in the presence of a woman instigates his ‘bonding’ with a female figure, which in turn transforms into temporary romance and companionship. The only flaw with this equation is that the woman tends to develop into a ‘attached and expectant’ being, whilst the man skips the melodrama and proceeds with goodbyes.

I’d personally justify this if the woman was informed prior to the ‘romantic expedition’ that their relationship was meant to be short-lived, most of the time she isn’t aware or even slightly doubtful of the man’s intentions which eventually¬†leads to a sinking sense of emotional turmoil.

After effects of this situation? The man is left with sweet memories of that woman and some men are stubborn enough to dive into the polygamous train of romance in pursuit of the ‘next lady’. On the¬†opposite, the woman is left heart-broken, cheated and is surrounded by a mound of tissue papers at 2 A.M in the morning. For the first time it dawns upon her that she was a mere¬†toy that was meant to be played with and broken, it portrays the lack of sentimental value she held in the relationship.

Some of us recover from these wounds and even gather the insane courage to forgive and forget. Others dwell in the misery for sometime, later on they pick up their emotional baggage and lock it in the closet, so as to remind them that life shares bitter realities with us and we must always be ‘on guard’. Either of these tactics to deal with the pain primarily depends on the individual’s perspective on life and personal philosophies.

As mentioned in the former paragraphs, some of these ‘migrant’ men lean towards adventurous romances and risk emotional damage to women in each ‘city’. This doesn’t imply a literal meaning where a man travels from one city to another, but rather it refers to the symbolic and disgusting endeavours of men who are completely detached to all those significant women in their lives. Obviously, women who pursue such heartless relations should also be condemned, but at the moment I am writing with the raw desire to reach out to myself and all those women who feel they’ve been destroyed at some point in their lives.

I’ve been told many times in life that there will come a time when you’ll look back at this and laugh, surprisingly none of it holds comical value in the present time, will all of us truly be laughing from the depths of our heart later on or will it be a¬†jubilant mask of concealed history? Time will tell.

Wake up, it smells like ‘Misery’: Pakistani households and attitudes.

9 Apr

Misery comes in different packages, they are so creatively diverse throughout the world that there is no single recipe with the precise ingredients to tackle with the ruins of this ‘state of mind’. The world consists of misery which is caused by famine, hunger, lack of education and financial strain; even if these situational components don’t exist in certain Pakistani households; misery seems to linger on with a more than vibrant presence. It appears to have been conditioned within people and their environments at times. We as people need to understand that there are certain elements in life which we are in complete control of, whilst there are other things which are beyond our physical or situational authority.

*Sigh* If only someone could explain that to the fretting ladies of the East!

True, our political instability and financially inflated reputation doesn’t make it easy to put on a happy face, but if things at home seem comfortable for the time being why do we insist on wearing the ‘sad clown face’? I suppose it’s because we’re too afraid of appearing content when things are meant to fall apart. When in reality ‘things falling apart’ relates to all those petty yet weighing issues which¬†many of us¬†face in everyday life. Instead of obsessing over strained relations between relatives and cousins, why can’t we just learn to let time take its course? If a divorce or breakup is in the process, why do the rest of the people around have to act miserable and pitiful about it?

This surely doesn’t happen everywhere, but the plague of misery has been known to infect many households. When things aren’t going the way we desire them to be, why does misery have to dictate our moods and attitudes? It could be because we’re conditioned to be miserable when emotional or situational calamities befall us (which does not include natural disasters, crimes and abuse or physical or¬†financial¬†distress). At some point in life it almost becomes an innate instinct to remain miserable.

To make it more clear I’ll elaborate on this a little bit more, if something happens in our lives the healthy and productive thing to do during that period is to process and express it which helps format it into a memory or incident rather than a burden. But in my side of the world we take our obsessions very seriously, I am no exclusion to that! It works something like this, we take a problem and blow it completely out of proportion till it expands into a web of continuous dissection. This means that incessant bickering and dwelling over the ‘potential problem’ persists for days and weeks to come, in turn this gives an unnatural yet existent sense of relief and peace. Has this been carved as a feminine trait in many of our women? Can’t we just let go of things, I’m not here to pass judgements but rather to figure out through my own confusion why we use ‘misery’ as a form of catharsis.

Some issues require our dire attention and emotional venting, but I suppose other issues could be dealt with in a comparatively detached manner where there is no misery involved! Let’s not underestimate our ability to squash negativity around us, we can conquer daily occurrences and learn to rise above them.

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